NHRA Garlits dinner
Having survived more than 40 years of nitro-methane fires, engine explosions and living life driving a race car at breathtaking speeds few can comprehend, to reach your 80th birthday is a milestone worth celebrating. For Donald Glenn Garlits, better known the world over as “Big Daddy,” a simple cake just would not suffice. On the eve of the NHRA's season-opening Winternationals this weekend, more than 300 people packed a hotel ballroom in Pomona, Calif, to roast drag racing's top driver.
Billed as “Don Garlits' Rat Roast” in honor of the 34 race cars he built that were known as the “Swamp Rat,” the roasters were a collection of drag-racing luminaries, including Ed “Isky” Iskenderian, Tommy “TV” Ivo, Ed Pink, Sid Waterman, Don “The Snake” Prudhomme, Dave McClelland and Jerry “The King” Ruth.
Florida native Garlits was the first to mount a wing over the engine of a Top Fuel dragster, and he was the first to record a backed-up 200-mph run. He was the first to 250 mph and was the first driver to record a low elapsed-time of 6.2 seconds in the quarter-mile. He won the prestigious U.S. Nationals eight times and is known for making the rear-engine dragster competitive.
The evening began with legendary racing ambassador Linda Vaughn serenading Garlits in a Marilyn Monroe-inspired version of “Happy Birthday.” The bawdy beginning, in which it was clear that Vaughn's assets do not only include singing, set the tone for the evening.
Ruth said he admired Garlits for his dedication and innovation in the sport.
“He's done this for more than 50 years,” Ruth said, “and he made the rear-engined car work.”
Garlits's long-running battle with fellow Top Fuel racer Shirley Muldowney was a subject a couple of the roasters brought up.
“I asked Don what he thought about Shirley driving in Top Fuel,” Ruth said. “And Don said, ‘I don't like it.' He said he didn't think women belonged there, adding, ‘Why do you think they call it a c---pit?'” That was one of several comments that brought the room alive.
In response, Garlits, who was one of the drivers to sign Muldowney's license allowing her to compete in the NRHA, got serious.
“I signed her license because she did a good job,” Garlits said. “I never thought she'd amount to anything, and I was wrong. She is the best woman race-car driver--not just drag racing but in any racing--to date.”
Emcee Bob Frey said Garlits's comments amounted to a milestone.
“It took his 80th birthday for Don Garlits to admit he ‘was wrong.'" The crowd roared.
Ivo, a noted practical jokester, raced against Garlits “thousands” of times during their careers and loved it when he heard Garlits say, “I'm not a practical-joking kind of guy.”
That opened the door to confetti stuffed into a car's headers, showering Garlits when he fired the engine. Then there was the time Ivo tricked Garlits into thinking Ivo's engine was about to explode, when all he had done was put some “STP into the header to make it smoke.” While in England racing, Ivo said he saw cars with large Ls on the back and found out that learning drivers were required to have those on their cars to alert others on the road as to their experience. Sure enough, at the race, Garlits found his Swamp Rat adorned with a large L on each side.
“But seriously, how would you like to make a living racing against this guy 50 times a year?” Ivo said.
Famed engine builder Ed Pink, another octogenarian, welcomed Garlits to the “80 club.”
“Don, it took you 80 years to get here into the club. You didn't make it on a low [elapsed time] or top speed,” he laughed.
Garlits also apologized to Pink for something he did 40 years ago. Garlits had asked Pink to build an engine, but when tested, it did not perform up to Big Daddy's standards. So he had it shipped from the Midwest back to Pink's Southern California shop, collect.
“I apologize for that,” Garlits said. Frey quipped, “Another first. He apologized.”
Garlits talked about the beginnings of the sport, when it didn't take a lot of money to race.
“If you got a few free parts, well, you got it made,” he said. “It didn't cost much to run these cars.”
Garlits remembered getting $1,000 a year in sponsorship from Iskenderian, and how he quickly switched when a rival cam company offered $10,000. The deal did not last long, and he never saw all the money.
“I've learned that all the money in the world isn't worth a friendship,” Garlits said. Then, looking right at the 90-year-old Isky, he said “I love this guy.”
Longtime broadcaster and announcer McClelland professed his love of Garlits with a simple kiss to the forehead. Engine builder Waterman summed it up by saying, “No one has done it better than Don Garlits.”
Prudhomme got back to the roasting. “It's nice what you said about Shirley,” Prudhomme said. “But she still hates your guts.”
But he too, became serious for a moment.
“He set the example for me in drag racing,” The Snake said. “He showed me how to be a champion. Don Garlits is the greatest drag-racer of all time.”
Nothing was off-limits for the roasters, from Garlit’s belief in aliens to his failed bid for a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives.
“I don’t believe in aliens,” Garlits said “I know about them. I’ve seen the sons-of-b-----s!”
Even at 80 years old, Garlits is still racing, though he has given up driving Top Fuel cars. He races a Dodge Challenger in several sportsman races, and still loves it.
“It’s fun to come out and enjoy myself,” he said. “The NHRA is drag racing.”
Proceeds from the roast benefited the Quarter Mile Club dedicated to collecting and archiving the history of drag racing, including the oral histories of the sport’s pioneers.
